You may be an approval seeker if you struggle to make decisions on your own or get upset when people disagree with you. Human interactions may occasionally involve the need for acceptance, but constantly seeking approval from others could be an indication of emotional difficulty. Obviously, we all value affirmation. It confirms that what we’re doing is morally correct. It boosts our confidence. When someone concurs with us, we feel assured. When they commend us for a job well done. If you or your spouse wants to learn more, seek Marriage Counseling at TalktoAngel.
When our family approves of our most recent relationship, we feel validated. If our manager recognises the many hours we’ve worked, we feel accomplished and can go home with pride. Overall, getting other people’s approval greatly boosts our confidence. In fact, it influences how we define ourselves. For instance, I was a shy fish out of water at school. I felt so miserable and had no friends that I twice fled the country. After that, I went to my first history class and got to know the instructor.
Causes of approval seeking behaviour
The most frequent causes of approval-seeking behaviours are listed below, although there are many others as well:
Some people may have a continual need for acceptance due to low self-worth. We look to approval when our internal sense of value falters, whether it was never properly established, was undermined by a mental illness, or was simply a poor day of self-doubt. Trauma, child abuse, insecure attachment patterns, and other emotional difficulties brought on by adversity can all contribute to low self-esteem and self-worth.
A child’s sense of value increases when they receive affirmation on a regular basis. They soon gain confidence in their internal sense of approbation, seeing that they frequently have it when they don’t require external reinforcement. Some kids could go through difficult situations that leave them feeling insecure or with poor self-esteem. They could struggle as adults to accept themselves. As a result, they would constantly try to win over others and engage in people-pleasing activities.
Signs of unhealthy approval seeking behaviour
- Saying yes to people always
- Depending on who you are with, you alter your viewpoint.
- Acting in a way that goes against what you believe
- Pretending to understand what the other person is saying making a global catastrophe about you
- Talking behind someone else’s back
- In search of praise or attention
Some approval seeking behaviours
Typical approval-seeking behaviours include:
- Finding it challenging to go for decision making whether big or small—without consulting others first
- Seeking excessive reassurance that you’ve done or are doing the right thing while feeling insecure about decisions you’ve made or are making rejecting opportunities and experiences you want out of concern that others will approve.
- Feeling sad, happy, guilty, or anxious depending on how others feel about you.
- Feeling humiliated if someone criticises or disapproves of your work, choices, or actions
Overcoming the need for approval
To attempt to become conscious of excessive approval seeking is the first step. You can better comprehend approval-seeking behaviours by recognising them. Learn to recognise the triggers of your need for approval:
- When do you most want the approval of others?
- Is it when you’re making important life decisions like buying a property or making financial plans?
- Is it connected to how you look and what you’re wearing?
- Does it happen at work or school?
- You might be able to understand the motivation behind this demand by identifying the core cause of approval-seeking.
Don’t feel as though you have to wait for others to acknowledge your accomplishments before you do so yourself. By acknowledging your accomplishments, you can congratulate yourself without needing other people’s approval. You might want to concentrate on accepting who you are and developing self-compassion for this.
Improve relationship with yourself
Spending time with yourself to avoid being with others all the time. You’ll be able to do this to improve your self-confidence and learn what you’re capable of without other people’s approval. You might think about the following to develop a love of independence:
- Going by yourself,
- Eating in a cafe by yourself,
- Reading a nice book
- Pursuing a pastime or activity by yourself
- Spending time by yourself at home
A wonderful place to start is by making contact with a therapist. Regardless of whether they are going through a crisis right now, everyone can gain from seeing a qualified therapist. Self-worth issues can be investigated and addressed through any type of treatment.If you or your partner need more information, feel free to seek Marriage Counselor at TalktoAngel.